Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Populated mostly by the old men that seem to orbit between the theater and Cafe Portugaise like they were planets, this place is everything your brain wants it to be. Which is exactly why you may not want to go there. The twenty minutes I spent in Cinema L'amour mark a surreal sexual experience that makes rape porn seem tender.
Tuesday is couples night, meaning you and your significant other get in for free. If you really must go choose this option so as to avoid dropping $20 on what may be a short visit. To L’amour’s credit the roped off couples section helps keep a respectable distance between you and the crowd of old men who’ll be jerking off to your girlfriend.
I went with some friends to screen Rockman Entertainment’s Blowjobs gone wild We were expecting “eat my black meat” but there’d been some sort of mix up and we were left to wile out our jungle fever for another day. Either way whatever they’re screening is extraneous to what ends up happening at the front of the theater.
A few minutes into BJGW a little huddle appeared up front, some of the old guys who were too shy to spank it in front of us kids settled for a circle jerk instead. We tried to run up front to verify this ritual but as soon as we tried to leave the couples area the porn manager ordered us to leave or sit back down.
The mutual masturbation continued for several more minutes. During that time the chick on screen went from sucking dick, to choking on it, to puking on it, and thankfully back to sucking. The tide of cum soon ebbed and it seemed a bunch of the grandpas had finished up for a while, a devoted core of oldies kept circle splooging as their less robust counterparts trickled outside.