Dollar store from the deep!

There it is friends. After nearly a year of waiting the Dollar Store on St. Laurent is back.

Comptant Argent

No one ever sells their own power tools. My friend's dad used to run the pawn shop in Maine where I grew up. Like every other pawnbroker he dealt with the most desperate people and hottest gear imaginable. The one thing he claimed was always stolen were power tools. When I asked him why he was shocked. How else would a man make a living if not for his sanders, saws, and helium arc welders?

Though my interest in pawnshops, then and now, has been chiefly for the SNES selection I admit to loving these places. The nearest to my house and consequently my favorite is Comptant . Don't believe the hype, just because they're a chain doesn't mean they're the least bit respectable. In fact given my experiences there these guys are pretty vile blood suckers. They give you the worst prices and then ask over retail for bizarre and outdated gear, as evidenced by their extensive collection of pre-1995 snowboards.

Still if you need a copy of Shinobi at midnight on a Tuesday they'll be happy to sell you one for 30 bucks. There are things to love though, absolutely obsolete gear can be had here aplenty. VCRs, Tape decks, Dat recorders, other non tape based media devices and even minidiscs can be had here in full working order. The St Lauent and Bagg location also sports an extensive sword collection. Which I usually use as a shiny conversation piece to distract my attention from the pathetic bargaining usually taking place at the counter.

Oh and sorry musicians, as much as you want to march your skinny ass down there and demand your guitar back, once its sold to a pawnshop in Quebec its THEIRS!

$2 Chow Mein

Okay so before anyone calls snoozefest poserman on me google this shit. Type $2 Chow Mein Montreal in google . NOTHING! You hardly get shit, something so close to all our drunken hearts is essentially non-existent on the internet.

Maybe its too trivial a topic for spacing or too blase for Midnight Poutine but I'm shocked. Familiarity does breed contempt though and I can understand if the pro bloggers have cast sneers at Chez Mein. I however make no faces, and in the name of beer, noodles, and content give the funinitiated my description (not review) of this icon.

There's little to know. Located on the corner of Pins and St. Laurent, $2 sits on the literal axis of the Montreal club scene. Doller chow is universal, everyone comes here and everyone invariably eats a slight variation of the same thing. Cheap chow mein noodles cooked in an electric skillet, burnt spring rolls, and melted peanut butter(sauce). The dining area is small and most people take out. Ever see the Main early on a Sunday morning? All the shit stained foam boxes came straight from here.

New Frame

Its a Czech Favorit, english BB, ISO headset, we'll see how nice it is once I build it.

Nazis in the Hood

So I've heard rumors about Nazis in Hochelaga. Anybody familiar with the neighborhood will likely recall having seen Anti Nazi Graffitti such as the Antifa tag above. I'd always thought this stuff was more the province of bored punks than a reaction to any real threat. This weekend though I found a recent flyer warning about "nazis dans le quartier". It even went so far as to point out their supposed hangout. While I'm not going to name or show the place until I've already gone for an evening (I don't need a stomping) it seems entirely possible.
Hopefully they're just dumb kids and not some organized part of the Aryan Nation or anything, as a friend of mine informed me "real Nazis will smell your catholic ass a mile away."

Porte d'Enfer: The Door of Hell.

For myself as well as many of my peers, a door of hell sounds like some kind of Hitchcockian genital slamming door. In reality, however, it is a 1 litre, 14% a.c. wine capable of releasing much darker instincts than castration anxiety. When I moved to Montreal a couple years back, Porte d'Enfer replaced Colt 45s and cocktails in water bottles hidden in my locker because I thought that if my mom could drink 2 bottles of wine a night then it was a classy, mature drink. The results of this misconception were, with the possible exception of the hymen i essentially exploded in grade 10, the most bloody, disgusting and unnecessarily ass slapped night.
[I've just been informed that I am writing this as a guest contributor and not secretly, in the guise of T-Boz. So, I...my blog is www.dickomelettebrunch.com. ]
People claim that wine makes you sleepy and loving which apparently explains why everybody has so much sex in the HBO series Rome and why it is definitely, definitely not a ratings ploy to stop people from catching on to the fact that all HBO shows have the same writing formula. For me, Porte D'Enfer made me smash a sign with another sign in front of a security guard (while on the phone to Halifax yelling at the King of Donair night staff), turn the dug up, pylon covered Parc and Pins intersection into a 3 am real-life Pac-Man (twice), urinate directly on St. Denis, mistake Notre Dame de Grace for "a castle!" And a whole bunch of other shit that's basically the sleaze knees. In short, it tastes like plain old cheap wine, but once you open the litre it's some how impossible not to finish. And once you've finished it's impossible not to challenge someone to a fight, have a heart to heart on the balcony, and try to make out with your brother's friend.
I've often pondered the concept that the wine was so-named because vomiting it up is a pretty solid approximation of what I imagined the demons on Buffy smelled like...Waking up with the taste of porte d'enfer vomit in your mouth and cigarette smoke in your room is, I strongly believe, an important experience in the meaning of "the morning after" and a helpful indicator towards why old hookers look so scary. A year of Porte d'Enfer consumption, however, will find you with hideously scarred knees, some repulsive half-memories, and at least 1 really nervewracking STD check.

In retrospect, that just outlined everybody's 1st year out of high school. To conclude then, I hope that all of you have, like me, realized by now that wine should only be purchased boxed, then guzzled in bladder form. Make sure not to burn the bladder with your cigarette. Or do and make everyone lap up the gushing wine like Dionysian puppies. This is a good game for really white apartments of people you hate.

IGBYS BIG CITY PARTY NIGHT VIDEO